Hi good ppl. I have been in a relationship status for a month now. He is a good man trying his best to make me smile n happy. Always listening to me n have my back all the time. He is loving and our relationship is secure and safe. He is my best friend from two years. But from my side I don't have sparks or butterflies towards him and I'm not happy to be his woman. I'm not sexually attracted to him. And most of the time I'm not thinking of him. I'm thinking about my ex who I broke up 13 months ago . I saw him few weeks ago in my college. He came to say hi to me but I acted cold because I missed him deeply. He was my happiness, my peace of soul n mind. I never felt the way I felt to him. But we broke up because my family forced me to stop seeing him because if his religious beliefs. Every time I'm feeling down I think of my ex and. The good memories we had to make my day better. I keep going to bed crying and I feel lonely without him. Every time I see him around my heart get excited n happy. However I dated many men after we broke up and still couldn't feel or enjoy myself with them and even broke many men's heart because I couldn't develop feelings . Idk what to do w my current man. He truly loves me and introduced me to his family but I don't wanna marry him and I can't see myself w him in few years. I'm not the type who wanna get married but I have been dreaming at.m night that we got back together n having a peaceful relationship again.
I do love my boyfriend but sometimes he is just too much! Like today... He forgot that we had made a dinner plan and left me waiting in front of the restaurant for 25 mins! Like really??? I don't think I am a high-maintenance girl but lately he has been really lacking in the attention department. I mean logically I understand. We've been dating for 2 years and everyone, from nosy friends to romance columnists, has warned me that attention-deficit from your partner is to be expected once the relationship goes beyond a year. I guess I could just chalk it up to the embers of our romance dwindling down at this stage of our relationship. Perhaps, I am even hoping that is the sole reason for his behaviour as of late. However, some part of me can't help but think that perhaps he has fallen out of love. And an even more scandalous part of me suspect he is seeing someone else behind me. If it is true, I bet it is that bitch Glenda, his colleague! She has been eyeing him like a piece of fresh meat since he joined his new company. I know, our mutual friend who is working in the same company has told me so. I am so stressed these days due to this issue. I haven't been sleeping well and I have lost my appetite for the last couple of weeks. I am even contemplating on asking this mutual friend of ours to spy on him but so far I have managed to debate myself down and avoid making rash decision. To say I am torn is an understatement. I am desperate to know the truth and yet I am still too scared to face it. Can someone please tell me if I am just being paranoid or being smartly cautious?
I was incredibly nervous the first time I sought help. I was really doing it for my family and didn’t see how talking would help, but when I spoke to my counselor and met other people with PTSD, I realised I wasn’t the only one. My counselor taught me how to relax when I got scared or angry, and gave me the tools to deal with everyday life. We started talking about what happened. This was really hard to start with, but it got easier after a while. I talked a lot about the flashbacks I was having that made me feel angry. How could this have happened to me? Why couldn’t I sleep? Why couldn’t I stop the nightmares and thinking about the riots, the burning buildings and the mayhem of those couple of days? These were not the kind of questions I could talk to my wife, Kate, about, but it felt good talking to someone about it. It’s been a difficult road for me and my family, but I’m learning to deal with my demons, and my future is looking brighter.